Dick Cheney: X-treme Makeover
Warning: the following material may be offensive to certain readers:
I think I have a psychological read on Dick Cheney: I know what you're thinking -- he has no psychology, but that's just not true. I watched a CNN profile on him the other night and I GOT IT: he was a wild thing who was pussy whipped into submission by Lynne, who forced him to give up the wild life that led to this dwi#1 and dwi#2 to settle down. She gave the guy an ULTIMATUM and he folded and shut down. Lynne is killing him, she is choking the lifeblood out of him. And once he bent over for her, he was ready to submit to others...
Now his form of Adlerian masculine protest is to invade sovereign countries, to prove to some one that he is his OWN man.
Dick, Dick I'm talking to you now! I's not too late. You need an X-treme makeover and you can have your life BACK, the one you were living when you were twenty, when you were working union jobs in Wyoming, when you had a taste of wilder things than Lynne Cheney! Your blue collar sense of inferiority got the best of you and you thought you had to CHANGE to satisfy your GIRLFRIEND. What was that about? There were other girls out there! When I saw those photos on CNN when you were young, and you were HOT! You can still be HOT. You just got scared of your own feral sexuality and signed on the dotted line of matrimonial castration!
When W loses the election, just leave that harpie behind. Your daughter will embrace your new lifestyle. I promise. If she doesn't, I will. Shave your head -- who likes that half tonsure look anyway? Lose the wire frames. Go for something sleeker, more Italian, or even French. Who cares? Go wild! You've got those Halliburton dollars burning a whole in your khakis. Lose the khakis! Flat front, no pleats! Tummy tuck, maybe some botox, not too much, because we like that rugged lived in look in a man.
Your willing submission to bigger males egos (Rumsfeld, Nixon, Bushes I & II) has gone far enough. (I heard that as White House Chief of Staff, you were picking out salt and pepper shakers for Nixon and distributing pillows on Airforce One.) Free your ass, your mind will follow!
The crazy, good looking kid in Cheyenne who was howling at the moon is still in there somewhere. And he's ready to emerge as the ultimate metrosexual! There are SO many babes in and outside of the beltway who would love to take you on and take you home -- after you and Lynne split up of course. It's never too late to start over Dick, because you know what? We're Americans!
I think I have a psychological read on Dick Cheney: I know what you're thinking -- he has no psychology, but that's just not true. I watched a CNN profile on him the other night and I GOT IT: he was a wild thing who was pussy whipped into submission by Lynne, who forced him to give up the wild life that led to this dwi#1 and dwi#2 to settle down. She gave the guy an ULTIMATUM and he folded and shut down. Lynne is killing him, she is choking the lifeblood out of him. And once he bent over for her, he was ready to submit to others...
Now his form of Adlerian masculine protest is to invade sovereign countries, to prove to some one that he is his OWN man.
Dick, Dick I'm talking to you now! I's not too late. You need an X-treme makeover and you can have your life BACK, the one you were living when you were twenty, when you were working union jobs in Wyoming, when you had a taste of wilder things than Lynne Cheney! Your blue collar sense of inferiority got the best of you and you thought you had to CHANGE to satisfy your GIRLFRIEND. What was that about? There were other girls out there! When I saw those photos on CNN when you were young, and you were HOT! You can still be HOT. You just got scared of your own feral sexuality and signed on the dotted line of matrimonial castration!
When W loses the election, just leave that harpie behind. Your daughter will embrace your new lifestyle. I promise. If she doesn't, I will. Shave your head -- who likes that half tonsure look anyway? Lose the wire frames. Go for something sleeker, more Italian, or even French. Who cares? Go wild! You've got those Halliburton dollars burning a whole in your khakis. Lose the khakis! Flat front, no pleats! Tummy tuck, maybe some botox, not too much, because we like that rugged lived in look in a man.
Your willing submission to bigger males egos (Rumsfeld, Nixon, Bushes I & II) has gone far enough. (I heard that as White House Chief of Staff, you were picking out salt and pepper shakers for Nixon and distributing pillows on Airforce One.) Free your ass, your mind will follow!
The crazy, good looking kid in Cheyenne who was howling at the moon is still in there somewhere. And he's ready to emerge as the ultimate metrosexual! There are SO many babes in and outside of the beltway who would love to take you on and take you home -- after you and Lynne split up of course. It's never too late to start over Dick, because you know what? We're Americans!
2 Comments:
Why do you think Mary Cheney likes to dive for muff off the coast of Dyke-achussetts? Inquiring minds want to know!
I'm sorry but I won't speculate on Mary Cheney's swimming preferences or skills. It's bad form. She is a lovely lesbian. I've never liked Massachussetts as a place myself,but that is all I have got to say about that.
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