Don't Ask Me!

Consumer Retorts: Rants and Raves on the Business of Self- and Home-Improvement

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Lacan Drawing: Yours for 10,000 euros

By way of Ken Reinhard, Le Monde reports that against the wishes of Lacan's estate a group of the Master's scribbled drawings and diagrams are going to be sold on June 30, 2006, by Artcurial, a Parisian auction house. If you thought that the image here was Leo's latest effort to master a particularly hard macrame knot in two dimensions - you're wrong! It is Lacan's drawing of a diagram demonstrating... hmmm... let me think about that one, the topography of subjectivity????

If you have some extra cash burning a hole in your pocket, this may be a good buy. As to whether or not you'll unlock the key to the difference between the sexes by staring at these curlicues is another matter altogether! But good luck to the bidders, may the most devoted disciples win!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

"The Aussies Was Robbed!" - reports Los Angeles Times

Grahame L. Jones covering the World Cup for the LA Times has a juicy conspiracy theory about Australia's devastating loss to Italy this past week.

Italy was sacrificed by FIFA in 2002 to keep South Korea (host country) in the running. This was done by a series of ambiguous calls by the referees. This year, it's payback time: what the Italians suffered in 2002 had to be redeemed at the expense of the Australians, a team with fewer fans in attendance at the German tournament and a newcomer in international soccer.

Jones says to watch for Australia to cash in its chips in 2010 in South Africa, when the antipodeans will want revenge for their being cast out of contention by a very obviously trumped up call for a penalty kick when Australia's defender slides into Grosso, but doesn't make contact with him at all in the replay. Totti makes the penalty kick and at the 95th, Australia has no time to reply, and suddenly, you've got a lot of happy Italian fans buying tickets and booking rooms for their showdown against Ukraine.

What this does to my theory of soccer as an allegory of class struggle might go like this -- the fairness in all struggle is just an illusion, -- what "players" or adversaries are rewarded for is persistence and a non-hysterical acceptance of injustice in the guise of good sportsmanship. Thus are the unwritten rules always more important than the written ones.

2006 World Cup Predictions

Stage 2 Schedule Germany vs. Argentina: Germany wins by one goal. England vs. Portugal: Portugal wins by two goals. Italy vs. Ukraine: Italy wins by three goals. France vs. Brazil: Brazil wins by two goals.

Germany vs. Italy: Germany by one goal
Portugal vs. Brazil: Brazil by two goals

Portugal vs. Italy: 0 - 0 after both overtime and shootout. Game decided by armwrestle between Totti and Figo!!!!

Finals: Germany vs. Brazil: Germany wins through bad refereeeing after Ronaldo and Ronaldinho both get red cards in the 65th minute for mussing up Michael Ballack's hairdo.

Ribery: the best player on the field today!!!

OK, a few revisions to the previous list. Ribery was THE player of the game! ri-BERRY!!!

In terms of average cuteness, the Spanish were definitely the best looking under achieving team -- hands down!!!

France vs. Spain at 38 minutes

I'm not watching this game until the second half, but following the live matchcast on the FIFA website between working on a number of projects is already making me angry.

France might lose on a penalty kick! OK, I didn't see the foul inside the box, but the refereeings seems to highly interventionary (is that a word?) during this world cup.

And here are my predictions: the bourgeosie always wins -- no underdog wins for long, or is able to consolidate is victories. Therefore, there will be no underdog playing after Ghana's and Australia's elimination this week.

However, because there is always a possibilty that an underdog may win, one day, the underdog's victory produces HOPE, which cannot be accumulated, but has powerful historical resonance, whereas the overdog's win can only produce STASIS, which is why capital is in love with NOVELTY that it desperately fears...but because the STATIC quality of its perpetual triumph produces nothing like the dynamism promised by the new economies, it has to renew itself perpetually in its masquerade of innovation!

I know that is not much of a prediction, but that is what the oracle of historical materialism says about the 2006 World Cup. The underdogs have all been defeated. We are now in the period of consolidation of victories. What difference does it make if Argentina or Brazil or Germany wins???

Monday, June 26, 2006

totally arbitrary list about the world cup thus far:

- most violent game: Netherlands vs. Portugal
- worst game (painful, poorly played, strange fouls): Switzerland vs. Ukraine
- most shakey top ranked team: France
- best underdog team: Ghana
- best underdog team from smallest country that is no more than a volcanic string of islands: Trinidad and Tobago
- worst refereed game: Netherlands vs. Portugal
- ugliest player: four-way tie between Argentina's Tevez, Netherlands' Kuyt, England's Rooney, France's Ribery
- best looking player: three-way tie between Portugal's Figo, England's Beckham, Ghana's Essien
- best North African underdog: Tunisia
- most hyped underdog: USA
- worst referee: Russia's Ivanov

[I claim no expertise whatsoever. Read at your own risk!]

Yale rejects Juan Cole after public burning

Burning Cole deserves a good read, even if you aren't associated with that that hallowed institution of higher ed called Yale, which I have to hail as my alma mater.

The Yale administration's rejection of the history department's decision to appoint Juan Cole as Middle East historian is given depth and background by the Nation's reporting. It seems that a concerted effort, led by right-wing blogger Scott Johnson raised red flags about Cole's purported anti-Israel positions. This, was, it seemed enough to shift the winds against Cole's appointment within a vote by an academic committee that vets senior appointments at Yale.

Not only is Cole an eminent historian of the Middle East, after September 11, 2001 he became left-wing blogger on Iraq and Middle East issues, along with being a virulent critic of the Bush administration's Iraq policies. His blog Informed Comment is one of the premier sources of reporting from the Middle East you won't get on the MSM.

Cole is employed at the University of Michigan, and will not suffer much from this rejection -- Yale wil since it has shown that a good public witch hunt with whispers of anti-Semitism will tank a qualified candidate. But you have a case where as Yale history professor John Merriman put it, academic integrity is trumped by politics.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

US out, Australia in

I admit it, I cheered for Ghana -- bad call by the referee and all. No, I am not patriotic enough -- but I was brought up in the heady internationalist years of the 70s, when chastened by Vietnam, we were taught to cheer for the world. Ghana has given us great soccer moments this world cup and the US, despite playing really well defensively against Italy -- was lackluster at best. For some reason, schedule did not permit me to watch Cote d'Ivoire play at all, but I will be devoting myself to African soccer in preparation for the next world cup in South Africa. Essien is one of the most exciting players to watch.

And you bet I will be cheering for our friends down under against Italy. Australia has qualified for the quarter-finals in its first world cup appearance -- like Ghana.

And tomorrow, I will try not to be drawn into the drama of France, South Korea and Switzerland. How can I not cheer France on at a time like this?

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The Encyclopedia Project

I have to plug The Encyclopedia Project that is the brainchild of a group of writers who got their MFA's at Brown University.

Rather than scribbling away in attics or cabins hoping for recognition -- these young writers decided to create their own media -- a theoretical and literary encyclopedia that is far more beautiful than the photograph on this webpage can do justice to...

In the spirit of full disclosure -- this is also a moment of shameless self-promotion -- I'm included as the author of the entry on "allegory," which owes much to the writing on this blog.....

Sunday, June 18, 2006

South Korea vs. France, Australia vs. Brazil

I'm rooting for France, sorry fellow Asians, but the South Koreans are challenging les bleus. Everyone of these games today are thrilling. The Australians were valiant against the soccer superheroes, but the Brazilians strategically and technically outclassed them in the end.

The commentary is subtly shaped by an anti-Asian bias. But then they called the Australian defenders "bulldogs" and the Brazilian offense "dancers." I like the animal metaphors here...you won't see those comparisons for instance -- the Americans are not compared with rattlesnakes or prairie dogs, and their handling of the ball is not compared to the fancy footwork of the foxtrot!

I want to walk away, but I can't.

OK...I take everything back as of the second half. South Korea deserves to win this game after the series of fierce attacks that resulted in a goal tying the game. I am really upset. I didn't realize how invested I was in this game because somehow I thought Zidane was going to have to triumph and bring about social reconciliation in France! I am really upset. Please, tell me this has no consequence whatsoever and that France's love of Zidane is just a big coverup for its subterranean social injustice!!!!

Boy was I wrong about that -- and by the way, shouldn't the whole world be realizing by now because of Ronaldhino that you don't need good orthodontry to have a charming smile or play great soccer!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

the ugliest trophy award and germany's logo goes cute

OK, the World Cup trophy looks like some Sculpture 101's student attempt to make something a New Age Rodin might have on his mantlepiece next to a bronze cast of a dolphin leaping from the waves. It is grotesque, but the German World Cup logo with the trio of smiley faces alluding to soccer balls is a sad attempt to cutify a country that wants to take this opportunity to rebrand itself as fun-loving. But this -- from the place that gave us Bauhaus design aesthetics and its modern design principles?

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Ghana vs Czech Republic at Halftime

Unbelievable that Ghana is up 1 to 0 at halftime, -- even if they don't win this match, they've made me happy. Some one in the comments told me that I should watch the World Cup on Univision because I was complaining about the commentators, but a Spanish speaking friend has told me that the Spanish commentators are letting slip unbelievably racist comments when the African teams are playing. The vocabulary of physical description of play is studded with references to the wild animals of the Serengeti.

The commentary is US obsessed during the first half of this game -- a Ghanaian player is taken off the field -- why?? How will this affect the game? We don't know. We cut to shots of American soccer fans, getting happy about seeing the Czech Republic get taken down a few notches.

And Ghana has just won, after scoring a discounted goal on offsides, and missing a penalty kick on the bar -- it could have been 4 - 0. Unbelievable. The commentators are saying things like "This means neither the US nor Italy can be eliminated OR qualify as a result of Ghana's victory." I'm going to try to wade through the hype and see what that means. My Protestant work ethic is getting the best of me, but with Peter and Leo out of town, this is MY time.

I think...

Friday, June 16, 2006

Angoooooaaaaala vs. Mexico

is an electrifying game. Our neighbors are struggling for possession! The Angolans are attacking relentlessly: time will tell however, if they are able to keep up the pace fo this attack. And so far, they have not been able to capitalize. Finally Mexico is making aa breakway, but it is quickly borken up. I am cheering for Mexico, but damn!!!! The Angolans are on fire!!!

As you can tell, I have a soft spot for the African teams. Every match to me is about the possible overturning of an implicit power imbalance, -- the favorites are always representatives of the bourgeoisie, and the underdogs their class adversaries/opponents.

I know it's naive and silly to see things this way, World Cup as class struggle, but it do!

Rationalists will say that Brazil is the favorite and is a Latin American, so-called developling I mean developing country and that most players in the Cup are coddled overpaid, undereducated pretty boys with good stamina, but I'm seeing allegory, not realism.

The sweet sensuality of summer

heals many wounds and the sharpness of defeat and the bitterness of powerlessness...I never thought that the fullness of each moment of experienced sensuality and joy free from the constraints of survival and the fear of retribution could actually be the crystal magic through which loss is defeated temporarily.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Trinidad and Tobago vs England

at 82 minutes and England finally scores against the team of a country of only one million people...Trinidad and Tobago shut out Sweden, -- they were my favorite underdog team...with no chance of winning, just lots of spirit...

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Socceroos all the way?!?!

Some of you have taken me to task about neglecting the Australia Japan, great come from behind victory for the team from down under!!

Apologies to the mates...you are right. Even though I said that I was going to devote myself entirely to WORLD CUP SOCCER this month -- it seems that life and correcting papers, malfunctioning printers, the insanity of trying to do home improvements while finishing my book does overtake me at time and cause me to miss games. Like yesterday as I sat in my office in front of the FIFA live match cast and "watched" the Brazil game.

So for some reason I didn't see the Aussies trounce Japan! Nor the Croats play their hearts out against the Brazilians. Sporadic will describe my world cup coverage

By the way I have a Brazilian joke for those of you who may have missed this one.

W. is sitting in his office and Karl Rove comes in and announces, "I have some bad news. Four Brazilian troops were killed in Iraq today."

Bush exclaims "That's terrible!" puts his head down on the desk and begins sobbing his heart out. Rove stands stoically in front of him, until POTUS raises his tear streaked face and asks, "Karl, how many in a brazilian?"

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

College Rankings, Top Ten Lists

and other forms of rationalized hierarchization should remind us of discredited sciences like nineteenth century craniometry, but also of present day industrialized intelligence and standard based testing. These forms of thinking drive competition, mystify the question of everyday experience, but alas, there is one terrible truth that must be faced: because we have internalized rankings to such a deep degree, there is a vast difference in the ways in which students at more highly ranked institutions of higher learning view themselves and their studies.

One finds, anecdotally, a greater sense of seriousness.The rankings produce experience. Process rather than results based learning seems to be reserved for the privileged and enlightened classes who can afford to send their children to visionary four year liberal arts colleges while the rest of students mill about in diploma factories, in perpetual detention until they are unleashed into the work force.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Liveblogging World Cup Game Italy vs Ghana

I was able to do a bit of work while watching the US get trounced by the Czech Republic. Why couldn't we have managed our expectations a little better? The US played as if they were afraid of the ball, or at least as if they were very, very tired, despite the commentators desperate praise of the youthfulness of the US team..If you think I'm not working, you are much deceived!!! It's finals week and I am collecting finals even as we speak and calculating student grades while reading Stephen Jay Gould!

Ghana is actually challenging and attacking Italy. They are AMAZING! They have strength, speed and guts. Italy's uniform has unfortunate dark blue patches under the arms, making them all look very sweaty. They should have had Miuccia Prada consult on the unfortunate two choice of two tone blues, producing the sweaty underarm patch special effect...I am so glad that we can hear something about Africa that has nothing to do with a disaster or Brangelina!!!

Go Ghana!!! This is an INCREDIBLE game!

Sunday, June 11, 2006

The Mexico vs Iran

game is dragging on with few attacks, few significant plays -- everything is happening in the mid-field. No attacks, except for the commentators' evocation of being chilled coming into Nuremberg stadium and wondering out loud what the Iranian team might have felt knowing what Ahmedinedinajaob (???) think about Germany's ignominious past.

Now, I wonder what the American team thinks about W's exit strategy from Iraq. OK, Omar Bravo just scored. The stadium is now alive with green joy....soccer reminds us that everything can change at any minute.

And Mexico scores again! 3 to 1....header to the far post...There are a lot of happy Mexican Americans in Southern California...Iran is trying to keep the game alive, but it looks as if tit is all over at the 86th minute of play...

Liveblogging Iran vs Mexico

Halftime: ABC commentary very, very bizarre. Iran has been playing BRILLIANTLY against Mexico from this soccer novice's point of view. The American commentators, however, Alexi Lala (???) and deep voiced older guy are obsessed with Ahmedinadinajab's...(???) obsession with nuclear arms and Holocaust denial. Also mentioned were John McCain's attempts to get FIFA to ban the Iranian team from play, as well as the threat [sic] that Ahmedadinajab (???) would show up in Germany to watch his team play.

Right now, Iran has played Mexico to a draw 1 to 1 with 45 minutes to go. Mexico has not been playing very well and scored because of Iran's fouls. So far, for today, Serbia Montenegro has been most conspicuous in terms of their inablity to control the ball and their willingness to interrupt the flow of play by fouling everything in sight. Still the Netherlands won.

But what do I know about soccer?

Thursday, June 08, 2006

academics are the new entrepreneuers

David Hildebrand reminds me every time I open my electronic education environment to manage my course website and grades that I am my own brand -- and that "Some may better understand what academics strive to do not by thinking of classes and books but of "intellectual capital." Like monetary capital, intellectual capital is the cumulative product of both individual effort and supportive communities. Intellectual capital is the dividend of years of hard work and practical experience that bears fruit by transforming lives and benefiting society." And that as Universities are beset by scandals and suspicion, we should look to business models as our models for performance and "excellence."

I think the big joke here is that Universities are the new Corporations, but academics are told to adjust to this situation by thinking of themselves are entrepreneurs! We work in large unwieldy, bureaucratic organizations that Hildebrand rightly says are not "ivory towers." More like cinderblock bunkers for some...but still to get back to my point, the idea that we can save ourselves from obsolescence by assuming a business model for the kinds of work that are done in the humanities is more than ridiculous.

Under late capitalism, the entrepreneur has monopolized the image of both sovereignty and autonomy. But he or she is just as subordinated to the laws of capital as anyone else. It just appears that the entrepreneur as overlord can cut through the crap of bureaucracy to GET THINGS DONE! Unfortunately, bureaucracy is not all bad: we call upon it as one of the mainstays of accountability within the University. When pseudo-populist legislatures want to bash public univerisities, they call up accountability as one of our biggest issues.

In fact at both Minnesota and Irvine, the medical schools got into trouble precisely because there was NO accountability. So I'm not making a plea for the pencil pusher, just trying to peel away a little bit at the label entrepreneur and finding that something that looks like con-man oh no, it says ENRON lies underneath!

I have nothing against entrepreneurs per se: I just don't want to model myself or my research activities after their business models. And they don't seem to want me to either.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

World Cup Soccer & Ban on Gay Marriage

- what do they have in common? They're irrelevant to most Americans....But not to me! I'll be cheering for the underdogs of this year's world cup as soon as I figure out who they are...in 1998, I thought Brazilians were underdogs, so I cheered them on against France! I've learned a thing or two about soccer since then...from Leo's soccer practice as much as anything else.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Schooled by Footnotes

Anne H. Stevens and Jay Williams offer in their article, "The Footnote, in Theory" a celebration of Critical Inquiry. "Polemical," "passionate," "professional" are adjectives that stud their article in their descriptions of CI's mandate and CI's importance to both theory and the future.

The proliferation of footnotes is rightly hailed as a sign of the "professionalization" of the humanities: the more insecure the author, the more footnotes. And according to Stevens and Williams, the footnote is "marginal, but not minor." Footntoes indicate our participation in a community of professionals, and implicate the author in a conversation

Citationality validates an author's importance, but as the authors deplore, Judith Butler is ONLY woman "to make it into the top ten in any five year period." Butler is the top ranked woman in general. What I find most depressing about this is that the top ranked woman theorist intervenes most often on the questions of sexual difference and heteronormativity. One suspects that an academic woman is better received if she talks about in some way being a woman, or at least about questions of identity in the academy. This is the unspoken, invisible rule we have often suspected exists, but is now more or less statistically confirmed. Laura Mulvey, Helene Cixous, Gayatri Spivak, Barbara Herrenstein-Smith, Catharine Mackinnon, Simone de Beauvoir figure among oft cited theorists of the fairer sex.

But what is problematic about this article and its presumed object of study -- the future of theory -- is the presumption that if footnotes are minor, Critical Inquiry is somehow MAJOR since a study of its citational past is going to determine our intellectual future.

Yes, a theoretical canon as John Guillory predicted has been established, and i find myself squarely mainstream within that canon. I've been schooled in the top ten of CI's list, and I'm ready to school others, but at the same time, since the explosive presence of the internet, of electronic publishing, of the blog, of a generation of theoretically informed, powerful, but non-academic writers and journalists like Doug Henwood, Thomas Frank, Lisa Featherstone have emerged on the publishing scene, CI and its list making seems increasingly -- as Lindsay Waters pointed out cruelly -- a playground for senior citizens and I would add -- young fogeys.

Of course, Henwood, Frank and Featherstone are not "professional" academics..but let's leave that for another discussion...

Slate expectations

In Slate last Friday, Michael Weiss gave a nod to this blog - thanks!

Thursday, June 01, 2006

The Footnote, In Theory

is the Critical Inquiry article that analyzes frequency of citations, within CI to determine trends in theory and theoretical debate. The authors of the article Anne H. Stevens and Jay Williams are working or walking in the footsteps of Anthony Grafton. In some sense, it is an article about defining Critical Inquiry , but also an investigation into the persuasive power and authority of the foonote.

Unable to reproduce their charts in toto, let me give you a simple breakdown of the overall standing:

1. Jacques Derrida
2. Sigmund Freud
3. Michel Foucault
4. Walter Benjamin
5. Roland Barthes
6. Jacques Lacan
7. Fredric Jameson
8. Edward Said
9. Theodor Adorno
10. Immanuel Kant

But in the years 1974-1984, Harold Bloom's star shown brightly brightly at number 10, while Ernst Gombrich was number 1 between 1974-1979.

Between 1999-2004, Sigmund Freud is number 1 and Slavoj Zizek trails Theodor Adorno at number 7 and 6 (respectively).

Is this food for thought, or junkfood masquerading as food?

I'll read the article more carefully, instead of mining it for fun facts and get back to you later. If you have noticed the gender disjunction, the authors do comment on this. Judith Butler scores highest for women...proving I don't know what, I'll speculate irresponsibly at aonther time....