Don't Ask Me!

Consumer Retorts: Rants and Raves on the Business of Self- and Home-Improvement

Saturday, July 29, 2006

China Hand


has nothing to do with ceramic appendages....it was a cold war term for those analysts who were supposed experts on the CCP and the Chinese situation. They were divided into two camps...the CCP apologists and the CIA spooks. Today, there are echoes of this Cold War attitude in economic circles.

Then there are those apologists who basically say that the yuan cannot be allowed to float for it will lead to international economic disaster.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The unbearable banality of art journalism

in the New York Times always manages to raise the blood pressure. If the coverage of issues like museum and aesthetics is so atrociously bad - and this is an area in which I can claim some amount of specialization - then one has to wonder about the newspaper's coverage of topics about which I really know very little, like the Israel-Lebanon war, or the Bush White House's legal problems.

Witness this most recent gem by Roberta Smith on museums and the transformative powers of free admissions policies:

"When the art world often wonders out loud if art can change society, it seems fairly obvious that museums can."

Museums as engines of social change? This is either totally dishonest museum adminstrator flattery -- go Roberta, you've got a lot of opening dinners under your belt, or else it is extremely lazy thinking. When was the last time a museum changed a society? I can give you many examples of museums established AFTER revolutions or huge accumulations of capital in order to legitimate the new regime and money launder sugar profits-- Palais de Luxembourg and the Tate both in the 19th century, being the most obvious, but let's leave that for another time.

"They [museums] put us in touch with the world and its history. They reveal to us our own feelings talents and capacities, shaping our idea of what we can become. They give us the visual equivalent of things sorely needed today: an understanding of difference, and therefore of, tolerance. In times as dire as ours, everything matters more than art. Yet in such times, art matters more than ever."

Strangely enough, what museums can teach us has nothing to do with art, and everything to do with everything else, meaning, in Smith's insular universe, the world, history and ourselves (our capacities and talents). The art world may be asking itself if art can change the world, but the art world is not an agency. It is part of the world, and I've said it here before, if it's a bad world, we have bad art, the two are not separable. Of course I'm being telegraphic about these ideas, but the middlebrow truisms that Smith offers should be blown apart, now more than ever -- and this critical gesture has no effects on making the world a better place. But it may make you think twice about what Smith and her readership take for granted - the agency of art and the existence of an art world separate from the other world, as well as the pseudo-populist instrumentalization of art as tool to promote tolerance.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

The difference between the OC and Dutchess County

is palapable, but not absolute. Rhinebeck was founded in the 17th century; our corner of the OC developed in the 1970s. Plastic surgery is not at all prevalent here, so middle aged people look more middle aged, rounder around the middle, less apt to bare a midriff at the drop of a hat. This is comforting to me. People take yoga here for the final relaxation, which may last twenty minutes. People in the OC take yoga for upper body strength: almost everyone in the OC has very pronounced triceps.

But there are some similarities. There is, for instance a "fiesta" at the Dutch Reformed Church in Rhinebeck that promises "Jesus" and "Fire" in the same sentence. Protestantism just isn't what it used to be... You have to keep upping the ante. I have never been the to Crystal Cathedral in Orange County, but hear that it is almost a Cirque du Soleil atmosphere. Spectacle and religion have never been more comfortable with each other.

Friday, July 21, 2006

too hot to blog

We arrived in the Hudson Valley dripping with sweat, with outdoor temperatures readings from our rental car at 97 degrees Fahrenheit. It's finally cooled down today, but there were moments when it felt as if the world were coming to an end. Reading about the heat wave in Europe made us even hotter. Then we discovered that our renters had had the electricity turned off in our house, but had left the refrigerator filled with rotting food and mold. So it was a bit of Hurricane Katrina for us as we spent the past few days cleaning up in the apocalyptic heat.

It's humid right now, but the weather has cooled considerably.

Blogging will be very light -- to intermittent over the next few weeks1

Enoy the summer!

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Via Doug Henwood, BHL on Zidane

In a bit of overblown prose, Bernard Henri-Levy , like me, has tried to make sense of the Zidane affair -- calling Zidane the "super Achilles." BHL has never been known for his linguistic restraint. It's amusing to see him describe the head-butt the apotheosis of the mortal Zidane. It's an oxymoron...very, um Shakespearan, but why does BHL think that this soccer superstar will be the future mayor of Marseille? Does he know something we don't know? In the interviews with French television, Zidane said he was going back to Marseille to play soccer with his old friends in the neighborhood, but maybe that is just code for "I'm going to stage a political campaign to be mayor of Marseille."

We're headed to New York, escaping the heat wave here for the heat wave there. I'll work on toning down my soccer obsession with heavy doses of reality.

The Lighter Side of Mayhem

This Modern World casts the mayhem in the Middle East in a lighter and more historical light, reminding us that Bush and the neocons promised us that the "way to Jersualem lay through Baghdad" and that the only way to teach Arabs a lesson was through the use of incontrovertibly superior fire power. Remember?

It's important to remind ourselves of the bald-faced lies that the warmongers were telling us throughout the runup to and during the beginning of the Iraq war.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Right Wing Mythologies

This is a must read about the Right's ability to turn its ill-conceived and poorly executed wars into signs of its betrayal at the hands of ______________ (fill in the blank).

I've emerged from World Cup fever (I think). It was a bit like a delirium during which I lost what little touch with reality I might have been able to forge behind the Orange Curtain. My lack of perspective may also be due to massive computer failure and my losing all my bookmarks, so I all I could type was "Zidane" "Zidane" Zidane" like an obsessed monomaniac.

Lego Headbutt


The headbutt, immortalized in Lego figures. I just heard that Zidane was sponsored by Lego and that there is a Lego figure of him! Good birthday present idea for yours truly!!!

What is it about everything else I don't understand that doesn't fascinate me as much as the headbuttt?

Cubicle Makeover: This is Sad!

CNN wants to convince the millions of Americans who work in cubicle farms that the solution to the impoverished conditions of their working lives -- is re-decoration!!!

Redecorating your cubicle will make you happier to be at work!!! Hmm...maybe...as employers keeps track of your keystrokes and your college intern tries to take your job from under you, I'm sure cubicle workers will be empowered by picking new color schemes for their padded cells.

In the meantime, Martha Stewart should start looking into mass producing cubicle makeover kits! Be different! Hand embroider a beautiful fleur de lys on your cubicle and make a modern doily for your hard drive!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

No bottom to this story:

the more one reads about it, repeats it, thinks about it, the more enigmatic the Zidane/Matterazzi story becomes. A story "preserves and concetrates its energy and is capable of releasing it even after a long time." (Benjamin, "The Storyteller") The example of a "real story" that Benjamin gives is that of the Egyptian king Psammenitus, who, vanquised by Cambyses, is forced to watch the triumphal procession of the Persian king. Psammenitus watches stoically while his daughter is led past carrying the water pitcher of a maid, he remains unmoved when he sees his son led to be executed, but he breaks down and cries and beats his fists against his head when he recognizes one of his servants "an old and impoverished' man in the ranks of the Persian prisoners.

This scene from Herodotus has the force of an enigma: the story of what happened between Zidane and Matterazzi, and how a seasoned veteran of the pitch broke down produces lessons for every side of this debate. Trash talking is supposed to be the norm in professional sports, all the players are supposed to be totally inured but when does an insult break through the shell of cultivated stoicism? Why and how?

Zidane's head butt: the Game! Now you can do it too!

Zidane's head butt: immortalized as a game .

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Zidane : He apologizes to the children, but has no regrets

On TF1 Wednesday night Zidane in his Marseille accent expressed himself with confidence and appeared to be a man at completely at peace. He regrets nothing, but he did emphasize a number of times to children and those who teach children that what he did was wrong. On the other hand, because of the gravity of the insult, he feels no regret that he acted in the way that he did.

He never spoke Materazzi's name. And he did not say he would ask for legal action.

He seemed to look forward to a life lived with less surveillance. He seemed to be genuinely happy to live the life of civilian.

He also said a number of times, "You have to accept things as they are. I would leave it like that," when asked whether or not he would redo the final if he could turn back time. He alluded to a higher power by looking up at the ceiling. Some one up there wanted it this way.

When asked about his 14 red cards, he said that he wasn't always proud of what his actions, that he is not perfect. Zidane also insisted tha has always tried to be as honest as possible.

As for what his opponent said, Zidane only alluded to the fact that it had to do with his mother and his sister. He said quite simply, I try to be as honest as I can. I was guilty of reaction, and I was punished, but I hope the person who is guilty of provocation is punished as well.

The sports pundits can chatter on and FIFA may even take away his "Golden Ball." I don't think this guy cares. So I'm done with this topic (I hope).

Oh yeah, just one more thing. Zidane said that he read in the newspaper that an Italian politician had said, "We beat a team of blacks, fundamentalists and communists." He must have been a right-wing nut to think that those three groups are a natural alliance. But Zidane went on to say that he thought such a statement did much more damage than his admittedly shocking gesture.

History of Violence

Since I've been accused of condoning Zidane's act of "violence" by some commentators on this blog who want to remind us that he has a "history of violence," I would like to point to the video archive of Materazzi's own "history of violence."

I don't condemn all forms of violence -- symbolic acts of violence without a victim in response to provocation is justified.

What I will condemn are surreptitious forms of violence, or violence against the weak that justifies itself on a moral or metaphysical plane. That to me, is really disgusting.

In our world, Zidane's head butt just doesn't merit the adjective "impardonnable."

So he loses the game for his team. That sucks. And he now he might lose his "Golden Ball." Well, winning isn't everything. That's what he's taught me.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

All sports are reactionary?

Maybe...Was this implied by Walter Benjamin's point about the modern Olympics and their attempts to revive the Greek festival in order merely to submit athletes to the test of the apparatus. Olympics are compared to the "Industrial science of Taylorism that employed the stopwatch to analyze minutely the bodily actions fo workers for the purpose of setting norms of worker productvity." (cited in Susan Buck-Morss' Dialectics of Seeing, p. 326). Buck-Morss writes that what the modern revival of the Olympics produces are the conditions not for competition, but for the test.

But even so, the spectacle of the World Cup has called up an entire imaginary world of conflict and competition for me -- and in so doing reminds me of what we would like competition to be -- the collective reconciliation of justice in the fantasy of granting the prize to absolute merit beyond question. That would be a collective victory.

But the nineteenth century promotion of prizes, as Pierre Bourdieu has amply demonstrated are the tools by which the bourgeoisie extended its dominion over the fantasy life of art as well as sport.

I've got to follow this obsession --

Matterazi during an interview with the European press on his way back to Italy claims never to have called Zidane a terrorist. He says that he is not an edcuated man and that he doesn't even know what a terrorist is! Well I suppose playing dumb is also a good tactic of self-exoneration. Where has he been for the past five, six years? Is he being disingenuous or does the guy really live in a soccer bubble where it is all soccer all the time?


He admits to saying something to Zidane that is heard constantly between players on the pitch. This reminds me of waiting for two hours on one of those infernal lines at LAX and a really bougie Italian tourist steers his cart right in front of us, a huge snaking line of travellers. I confronted him in English and he threw up his hands, "No English!" So I asked him in Italian which language he did understand and he went to the end of the line. It is was exhausting. Cutting in line is not particular to the Italians -- I've seen it done in China and in France -- by little old guys who think you're not going to say anything. They react the same way when you call them on it, they back off -- I'm not proud of being a puritan of the queue as Brits call it -- but it does represent some kind of ethical relationship to other people that needs to be defended.

Monday, July 10, 2006

OK, this is a bona fide obsession

The Toronto Star reports that Matterazi who pretends that everyone saw exactly what happened is alleged to have called Zidane a "dirty terrorist." Matterazi denies it. Zidane says he'll talk in a few days. Look, everyone is condemning him for losing his temper. Right. That's fine. But there are times when some one goes too far, and you can either ignore it, call the referee or do something about it. Zidane is paying for having chosen the last path. His hesitation seems to indicate a moment of reflection.

racially aggravated disorderly conduct

In a Guardian piece on "race, rage and the red card", Matt Foot points out that Marco Materazzi may be guilty of "racially aggravated disorderly conduct" - legally constituting an offense in Britain. Nevertheless, soccer commentators there remain "sympathetic to Wayne Rooney, who kicked another centre-half in the gonads without any verbal provocation, but completely unsympathetic to Zidane, who may be reacting to racially aggravated abuse"...

Long Live Zidane! Vive Zidane!


But I can live without Jacques Chirac. Still, the French are standing by their striker and so am I. I'm reminding myself that Italy is better than Italian soccer....

Sunday, July 09, 2006

interesting wrinkle

Reuters offers an interesting twist in today's World Cup tragedy:
"Zinedine Zidane's butt to the chest of Italian defender Marco Materazzi was rightly punished by a red card even though the officials did not appear to see it happen. The incident in the second period of extra time brought a premature end to the great midfielder's career and he can have no complaints about the justice of it. He might, however, have cause to question its legality as it is against FIFA rules for TV pictures to be used as a basis for a refereeing decision."

quotable reuters analysis...

"Italian players rolled on the ground, feigned injury, passed
balls 60 metres back to goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon and saved
their best performances for when they were dancing around the
stadium with the World Cup trophy"

New York to recruit Zidane?

According to the International Herald Tribune, New York tries to recruit Zidane to play MLS - but the sources are anonymous supporters of the Red Bulls. I give this as much chance as the idea that Klinsmannn would coach the US men's soccer team. The Germans will most likely keep him at least through the European championship in two years. - But as for Zidane - maybe headbutting will make him the iconic Red Bull spokesmodel? ;-)

I'm not going to get over this loss

for a long time because if one's team loses, one wants it be absolute -- if I could say "the Italians kicked the French teams's collective ass!" then I would be sad and it would be over, but this game was just absurd and its ending was absurd.

I can't make any sense of the game. I know when you win, you don't care if you squeaked by on a technicality -- I guess that is the difference between losing and winning. One fills you with regret and uncertainty, the other the sweet sense of triumphing over fate AND ambiguity.

And I didn't really care about Germany's or Australia's revenge...I wanted this French team to SCHOOL the Italians with some fine plays and real goals!

Total Heartbreak: Italy wins the World Cup!!

I'm crushed -- France loses the World Cup by one missed penalty kick! I can't even make sense of this -- except as a friend says that the team of the comeback can't make it -- while the team that has been consistently strong wins by luck alone. France outplayed Italy in the second half, despite all the talk of 'old legs.' And France had a backstory, while the Italians had no narrative at all -- they were absolute ciphers - at least in the very one-sided commentary we got on these shores.

And then suddenly, Zidane headbutts an Italian player after a brief exchange of words and you could see this brilliant team beginning to commit turf suicide.

The Italians in fact kept their cool under the French attack, even as their offense fell apart by the second half. Even though everyone says Zidane's action was ignominious....I'm waiting for the real back. story. Riberry's was just another chapter in this tragedy.

No revenge for Germany who were soundly defeated, no revenge for the Australians...who had to swallow that 95th minute penalty kick.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

finally, we see march of the penguins...

and it was torture. It's not just that penguins have made serial monogamy into a heroic endeavor, it's that it is an unbearably inarticulate melodrama...All I can say is that I am glad we didn't watch this film in the movie theater. I told Leo that I didn't want to see this film because I thought it was indoctrination and he asked what's indoctrination? And I said, I was afraid this film would make you into a penguin of course!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

For France: Remember Australia!



Sent to us from down under, the Italians are none too popular in the antipodes, creating the possibility of an Australian-French axis, not of evil, but of World Cup vengeance.

I think that the Italian team is probably deep into method acting right now in preparation for the big game on Sunday. In between screenings of Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire, they are in classes with Lee Strasberg, learning how best to evoke sympathy for having been imaginarily kicked in the shin by Thuram and Makelele. Ow! Ow! Owie! It's hard work!

In the meantime, Riberry has got to learn to keep his powder dry if he wants to play the full 90 minutes on Sunday.

Every fan an expert!

Zidane leads France to finals

Although the game was not quite as dramatic as the last two against Spain and Brazil were, I spent 90 nail biting minutes terrified that the Portugese, who played superbly, would put one in the net.

Yes, it is a ridiculous thing to be so overinvested in the outcome of the game. I actually think that it's funny that everyone is so afraid of German nationalism. As I mentioned in the comments:- Chinese nationalism is what one should really fear. Germany's copacetic compared to China...

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

If the Italians don't win the World Cup,

they should definitely win an Oscar for best acting of any World Cup team. I don't know how many times we saw during yesterday's game, close ups of Camaronesi and his teammates doubled up in pain, clutching an ankle, a foot, a head, a rib, a shoulder. Strangely enough, there was not a single shot of a German player grimacing in pain at all after they took a spill.

Notice that I am not saying that the Italians were faking their injuries. I am just saying that they are very good at producing a dramatic scene whenever there is contact on the field. Let's call it tactical acting in search of a penalty, for which I definitely think the Italians should be recognized.

I didn't want to take sides here, but is there a rule in World Cup competition -- may the most melodramatic team win?

Marcelo Balboa's commentary has only gotten more unbearable. It's not that the guy knows nothing about soccer I've decided, it's that he is unbearably intelligence challenged. He repeated, "They've got to knock the ball around and open up the game." "The game is opening up." "They've got to score!"

NOOOO!!! Is that what this game is about????

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Germany down...in a shocking reversal...

but tomorrow is still another day. I don't know if the disturbing signs of German nationalism and nostalgia for the 1920s evoked in the comments will be quelled by a World Cup defeat. Neo-liberalism and culture industry produced nationalism go together very well.

But it was still a sad sight to see the German captain, Michael Ballack, with his head in his hands....

Sunday, July 02, 2006

The difference between being a fan and being in love

rest on the intensity of heartbreak. I saw those Argentinians crying, the British fans (and players) crying -- even sobbing as well, and it reminded me of the broken hearted moments of ones' own life --- with a difference. Let's just say that your team's being disqualified in the world cup is a bit less traumatic than being jilted by a great love. One doesn't love very often, but when it happens and it doesn't work out, the skies grow darker and darker until you feel as if you're being buried alive by your own sadness.

Soccer heartbreak may be terrible, and I'm steeling myself for France's possible loss, even though I hope that they will outplay the Portugese to win against the Germans -- but it's minor and may even be a defense against the terrible sense of loss and disappointment when you see your love handed back to you on a platter. Argentine, British and Brazilian fans may feel as if their hearts have been ripped out and handed back to them still throbbing, but believe me, this disappointment is a shadow of the real heartbreak when you feel that all your sensual happiness with another person has disappeared into the ether and that all the ecstatic moments you've lived with your ex-lover have been cruelly disappeared.

France all the Way!: Zinedine a god among men

Yesterday was a strenuous day for the dilettante World Cup fan: the Portugese victory over the English was gratifying if only because there was finally closure. Ricardo, the Portugese goalie was the hero....After Christiano Ronald kissed his soccer ball before shooting it at past the English goalie for the last penalty kick of the game, girls all over Europe were wishing to be transformed into his soccer ball.

But the real game was still to come: France vs. Brazil. We were resigned to Brazil's victory, but we were cheering for France. France's play before their match against Spain had been lackluster. People were saying "too old" and were expecting South Korea or Switzerland to qualify in their stead. I was heartbroken... how quickly we become stuck up wash-ups, I thought to myself!

Lo and behold, France won that game, outplaying the Brazilians who acted like petulant prima donnas. Ronaldo pushed a French player after missing another goal and Zidane flicked the ball to his teammates with virtousic nonchalance and self-effacing genuis and clairvoyant intuition about where his strikers were in the field. His set up of Thierry Henry brought the only goal of the game, but there were many near-misses for France. The score could easily have been 3 - 0 for les bleus.

Zidane made the Brits and Portugese look like soccer amateurs or indeed like Leo's little ice cream league teammates. Passing to opponents, both sides missed their mark for 120 minutes of play. France played like a team.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

The real meaning of neutrality at the World Cup

has become obvious to me at the 180th minute of the Portugal-England game. Please score and put us out of our misery so we can go on with our lives! Both teams are playing in an extenuated state. Anything can happen now. We were rooting for Portugal, but now i just want some one to score!

As for yesterday's Argentina-Germany game, -- we are wondering why there is no coverage of the Argentinian players attacking the German assistant coach. My heart went out to Cambiasso as he cried walking off the field after having missed his penalty kick, but I was happy for Juergen, our fellow Californian and Michael Ballack.

Marcelo Balboa's commentary has gone from bad to worse. Some say he has improved over time, but today he has shown his usual talent for banality -- the Portuguese have to knock the ball around and win the game! That's his idea of an insight into soccer!

One more minute to play and our household is poised to grit our teeth through penalty kicks.

Oh, and Ukraine's mismatch with Italy was unwatchable, except for Shevchenko, who it must be said, is a total babe....